unacceptable said my friend. he can’t have mine…….

by nightfall, i was told everyone in the band wanted one. squeeze were playing their last show in the NY area in this weird little disco in new jersey about 2 miles away from my house the following night. i agreed to obtain the harmonicas and meet my friend and the band at the show. by midday i had five hohner little lady’s in a small white envelope that fit in the palm of my hand. by mid evening, my friend called to say she wasn’t making the looong trip from manhattan to nj and i should give the harmonicas to john at the show. and just how will i do that, i asked with a huge attitude. he’ll be expecting you, just give them to him and enjoy the show. click.

this was, of course, just as ridiculous and annoying as it sounds. when i arrived at the venue with my friend jimmy, it became obvious that this one-horse disco was assuming that the beatles were playing and had really beefed up security. my attempt to deliver the harmonicas failed miserably. even worse was the fact that it left me feeling like some hanger on or groupie or some such something that felt bad…  the show was awful in part because the venue was just so wrong and in part because i spent most of it trying to come up with a solution to the delivery problem.

i just wanted to deliver the harmonicas and leave with at least a shred of dignity intact.

all of sudden, the band finished a song and walked off the stage, like ducks in a row, or if you prefer, like the beatles. they walked right past my table. it was very dark, i stood up and as john bentley passed by, i shook his hand and passed the envelope holding the five little lady’s. i was amazed that although i had never tried a move like this, it was sooooo the spy who loved me… i was actually good at it…. from the palm of my hand right into his hand, no fumbling, no stumbling, not one wasted movement… who knew i could be so smooth?  it was so dark, i’m sure he never saw me.

i returned home, called my friend and yelled at her for a while for talking me into this mega stupidity. she called me back in the wee small hours and confirmed that john was delighted with the little lady’s. case closed as far as i was concerned.

i don’t know if he shared them with the other fab four, but i do secretly hope that jools holland got one.

in retrospect, all i have to say about this whole sordid mess is:

on your bikes

oh yeah, and your anne frank books too.

xdd